Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
