Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
it hurts more in the daytime
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
