fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
