Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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