And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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