I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
