She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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