the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
