Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
and she was petting her beer can
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
