sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
