This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
