I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
