you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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