you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
