my soul wont recognize me after tonight
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
