google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
