Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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