i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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