But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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