I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Randomize
