i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
