He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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