Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Holy shit dude........stairs
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
