I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
