Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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