Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
