What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
