Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
