Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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