I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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