I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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