I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
is that a dick in a sweater?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
