i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
