Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
