Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
