Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
