people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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