Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
