I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
