What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
