Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
