Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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