I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
