Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
