its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
