I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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