just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
