Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
