so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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