I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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