I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
