oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
