this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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