Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize