if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
