That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize