If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Brb crying the tears of my youth
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
