he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
why do cheetos always look like penises
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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