I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
