I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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