pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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