i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
