At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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