im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
