perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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